Birth order + happy heinies

It was crazy busy at Mommy Prayers headquarters this week – to honor those frantic feelings, a short discourse on Prayer for the Diaper Left on Too Long

Dear Lord, please forgive me, for I have been a bad mother. Or at the very least a mother who has literally not had three minutes in her day to tend to the bottom of her youngest child. 

Does this phenomenon happen to firstborns? Rarely, if ever, would be my guess. My own firstborn had the double blessing of being not just our first baby, but the first baby on my entire family’s side, which means he received more attention that any infant since Mary gave birth in the barn. His perfect little bottom was eco-clad in cloth diapers — and cloth diapers, though kind(er) on the earth, need to be changed every, oh, hour or so. 

No matter, we did it – we spent day and night doing absolutely nothing but taking care of firstborn’s every need, so keeping his backside perfectly clean and dry was just one more of our endless tasks. Flash forward four years and three months and oh, how the world had changed. 

And now he stands before me, a living, breathing chastisement, wearing what has to be the world’s biggest, soggiest Huggie.

We actually signed up for diaper service with secondborn. We still have the ancient silver dollar the ancient diaper-delivery man brought as a baby gift, a sweet and touching gesture that made me feel even worse when I called up to cancel after two weeks.

We retreated to expensive, planet-trashing disposable diapers because, frankly, you can leave those suckers on for hours longer than cloth without catastrophic failure.

Experience tells me this puppy is about to blow any second, and only You know how bad it could be underneath. 

This infant had a big brother who was already scheduled up to his eyeballs in preschool-type activities, swim class and Kindermusik and gymnastics and so forth. Poor secondborn spent his days grabbing fitful naps in the stroller, learning to eat solid foods from the comfort of his car seat and, some days, having his diaper changed only after the situation below the navel had reached an emergency stage.  

So this one’s for you, honey, belated but nevertheless heartfelt:  I promise to be better; I promise to find time in our day to take care of our littlest guy’s heinie. Just please, Lord, please no diaper rash.  Amen.

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5 Responses to “Birth order + happy heinies”

  1. Steph Says:

    Oh, Tracy, so, so true!! LOL!

    Just remember that it all evened out a bit…firstborn might have less on the bum, but more on the shoulders. Secondborn has slightly less pressure on them from us as we learn to relax a bit. Knowing your guys, you know it’s true. 🙂

    Steph B

  2. 6512 and growing Says:

    Congrats on your book! I loved those prayers in Motherwit. I still chuckle over the “mothers prayers before sex.”

  3. Kathleen Says:

    Oh, I hear you! My firstborn never so much as saw a disposable diaper, and I preached the ease of cloth diapers… My second wore cloth diapers for a bit, and it wasn’t the laundry that did me in – it was the need to change his diaper on a regular basis. He’s had a near-constant low-level diaper rash since we switched to the earth-and-bum-unfriendly disposables, but at least I have time to blog about it.

  4. Ingrid Says:

    Remember when infant Secundo was with us at a cafe on Newbury Street and his diaper leaked on my lap? (Uh-oh, do your kids read these comments? I hope I haven’t shamed him.)

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