Peeps v. yoga — must we choose?

Following a very good if insanely calorie-laden Easter weekend here at Mommy Prayers central, at least one key staffer has been left feeling as squishy as a Peep and as ovoid as a Dove double-dark chocolate egg.

To honor that, a few quick words on Prayer for My Yoga Mat

Dear God, Because I know you cherish each and every one of us as unique individuals of your creation, I just wanted to report that the beautiful body you gave me is missing in action. If you’ve seen it in your travels, I would like it back. 

One of my huge pet peeves in life – like, it makes smoke comes out my ears – is when anyone, including the mother herself, refers to a pregnant or recently prego woman as “fat.” Even if it’s a joke, even if it’s said the way black people use the N word or the way you can complain about your mother-in-law but nobody else is allowed to.

It’s not fat, it’s a freaking human being, or multiples, created in the privacy of your very own womb. For most of us, does that particular piece of magic take some shape-shifting? Hell yeah! 

Once upon a time, I was that hot yoga chick in the front of class. Now I unroll my matt in my toy-strewn family room, inhale deeply, and think, Wow, moldy! 

And my second big beef is this mania to lose the supposed “baby fat” a week after you popped your kid out. Trashy celebrity mags, I’m looking at you — though really, I’m looking a bit further back in history to the lovely Demi Moore, who started, or at least sensationalized, both the obsession with celebrity pregnancies and the bird-dogging of recently postpartum pop stars to determine exactly which day they fit back into their skinny jeans.

Help me to be at peace with the new, larger me while my body does the right thing and loses the weight slowly and naturally. 

Me, I oh-so-wisely went into both my pregnancies carrying an extra five lbs. in reserve – I actually lost weight in my first trimester both times, mostly because I wasn’t drinking (ouch, that was a little painful to admit). The best part of being slightly chub going in is, you’re back in your “regular clothes” much sooner. And everyone says, “I can hardly tell you had a baby,” and “Look at you — you lost the baby weight already…” 

So what if the second half of that sentence goes unstated: “…so when’re you going to lose the rest of it?”

 And when the time is right, Lord, could I maybe get that killer ass back? Just asking, and thanks.


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2 Responses to “Peeps v. yoga — must we choose?”

  1. Laura Schue Says:

    Thank you, thank you for this post! We’re “working” on pregnancy #2, and this time I’m hoping to become a little more balanced in my self-criticisms of the magic weight gain. I may actually have to get the yoga mat out of the closet for some help with killing the critic (or at least quieting her for a little while).

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